Counseling For Neurotypical Partners

 Do You Need Help Navigating As The Neurotypical Partner?

Are you in a neurodiverse relationship and looking for help dealing with the unique aspects of your relationship?  Perhaps you have experienced some of the following challenges:

• Realizing you are in a relationship that does not meet your emotional needs.

• Feeling like you have lost your sense of self and your own identity.

• Doubting your own perception of reality.

• Experience a lack of emotional support from family and friends who don’t understand an autism spectrum diagnosis or the unique challenges it brings to a relationship.

• Isolation.

• Frustration that the same problems reoccur and never seem to resolve or improve.

• Sadness that your relationship isn’t what you dreamed it would be.

• Feeling crazy because everyone tells you your spouse is “normal”.

• Feeling overly responsible for the functioning of the home and are consequently labeled a nag, overly critical or hyper sensitive.

Neurodiverse relationships can provide unique strengths and gifts.  They can also provide a unique set of challenges that can be hard to understand, manage and navigate.  Often the neurotypical partner is left feeling overwhelmed, stressed and very isolated.  You are not alone and support is available.  As a certified couples counselor from AA&E, I have a deep understanding of the long term effects on the neurotypical partner that can arise from being in a neurodiverse relationship.  

Counseling for neurotypical partners can help you to...

• Feel validation and support in your experiences in a neurodiverse relationship

• Reestablish your sense of self and wholeness

• Depersonalize problematic behaviors or responses

• Learn new ways of communicating and adjusting that may be more effective and constructive for a neurodiverse relationship

I am considering neurotypical support counseling, but I still have a few concerns…

My partner doesn’t see that there is a problem.

Many people on the autism spectrum have a hard time sensing that something is missing from relationships. Your non-verbal cues and body language usually can’t communicate how neglected, ignored, or even resentful you feel.  They also often have a hard time assessing their own behavior and its impact on others. That does not mean your thoughts and feelings aren’t important and valuable.  This counseling is for you to have a place to receive support for your full range of thoughts and feelings.  

Can I see any couples counselor?

No.  Many counselors are unaware of ASD and how it presents in high functioning adults or even in adults who may not meet the full criteria for an official diagnosis.  Typical advice that is often given in traditional therapeutic settings regarding communication, intimacy, boundary setting and expectations may not work and may even exacerbate the problem.  Many neurotypical partners come to me after having seen other counselors.  Unfortunately, that has often been ineffective and even at times harmful, when the therapist has painted a picture that has made the neurotypical partner feel overly sensitive, nagging and overly controlling.

Let Me Support You as You Navigate The Strengths & Challenges Neurodiversity Brings To Your Relationship

I can help you navigate a neurodiverse relationship in a way that feels supportive to you. Please call or text me 408-868-9390 or fill out the form on this page to see how neurotypical partner support can help you.